Embracing Your Differences

Cut roses are kept in cold storage at floral shops to keep them from blooming. This way, once they are exposed to warmth and a little natural sunlight, they will open with glory. The lovely fragrance fills your home, and the spectacular color of the flowers impresses all who enter.

Acceptance, appreciation, and validation are the warmth that will cause your husband’s personality and true self to bloom. Disapproval and disparaging remarks will only shut him down, not change him; worse, they will cause him to retreat from you emotionally.
Men crave respect and must feel valued and important for who they are. Valuing the differences between you will foster an attitude of gratitude, and help you to refocus on your husband’s good points, instead of lingering on your grievances.

Around our house we refer to my husband Jeff as “Felix Unger” (the neat one in The Odd Couple). Sometimes as I do the dishes I can feel his eyes on my back…watching me. He watches me load the dishwasher and wants to give me a little instruction. He watches me wipe off the counters and would like to give me efficiency tips. He watches me put food scraps down the garbage disposal and can hardly refrain from offering suggestions.

Sometimes if I catch his eyes wandering over to the sink while I’m doing dishes, I’ll say, “Stop watching me!”—and he quickly averts his eyes. A girl’s gotta have boundaries, after all.

But all kidding aside, Jeff’s perfectionist personality is who he is. I have learned to deeply appreciate the fact that he likes to vacuum, take out the trash, and generally make things neat. If I don’t take myself too seriously, then I can laugh at our differences and value my “Felix” for the stand-up guy he is.

I've Been a Very Busy Girl...

I've been working on a Valentines pitch to help market and promote my book, "The Man You Always Wanted is The One You Already Have." So... for almost nine months I've been immersed in the subject of Valentines Day. But, my hard work is finally paying off! I ended up booking 14 radio interviews, have eight articles pubished online for the month of February, and I've done several TV interviews. Whew! I'm tired just thinking about it!

I'll post some of the links for my articles if anyone is interested in taking a look. But first, below is the link for my 2nd "Shape Up Your Heart For Valentines Day" segment on The Harvest Show.

http://www.harvest-tv.com/video/dsp_playshow.cfm?showid=100

After you click this link (or paste it into your browser) wait a minute or two for it to begin playing. Once it begins, use the tool bar at the bottom of the screen to advance the show to 41:40.

Now onto the articles:

http://www.christianwomenonline.net/GuestColumnistPage.html

http://christianwomentoday.com/womenmen/inboxinfidelity.html

http://womentodaymagazine.com/relationships/inboxinfidelity.html

http://femmesaujourdhui.com/advice/infidelite_email.html

http://christianwomensresources.com/index.php/Christian-Marriage/Lifelines-for-Valentines.html

http://mentodayonline.com/loveandsex/inboxinfidelity.html

I will be writing a monthly column at Christian-Mommies.com

Check out my new monthly column at Christian Mommies:

http://makingthemostofmarriage.christian-mommies.com/

Happy New Year -- Seize the Day!!

A new year is upon us and we can't let this opportunity for a fresh start and new beginning pass us by! 2008 stretches out before us full of possibilities. Your whole life could change this year! But it's up to you to seize the day. It's up to you to call upon the Living God. It's up to you to seek the Lord until you find Him.

Several years ago I felt my relationship with the Lord had hit the doldrums. So on New Years Day 2001 I prayed earnestly for a fresh touch from God. He answered by leading me to purchase a personal calendar and journal?and then to commit to a daily time of personal devotion with Him each day.

Since I was not a new Christian at the time the concept of spending time with God each day and reading His word was not new to me. But the truth was I had become lax in the discipline of spending quality time with God each day. And somewhere along the way spending time with God had become an "obligation" instead of a delight.

I found the biggest hindrance to my new habit was fear of failure. I had committed to spend an hour each day in fellowship with God. I would begin by recording ahead of time how long my quiet time with the Lord would be on my calendar (as well as my other responsibilities and events of the day). Then I determined I would read the Bible for awhile followed by a time of prayer and writing in my journal.

I had to conquer my doubts that I could follow through on my resolution. The only way I knew to do this is by putting one foot in front of the other and going forward!

And as I continued on day by day in this new discipline, the Lord gave me more of His presence, more joy in His word, more excitement, more zeal, and more passion. Sometimes I failed to keep my promise to seek Him--but instead of getting a defeatist attitude and quitting, I continued on in my endeavor. I soon realized that it was His delight to help me.

"There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom" Anais Nin

We have the choice to remain just as we are. We can go through 2008 making no spiritual progress. We can give into the fear of failure, being sure that we don't have it in us to seek the Lord in a more defined manner. We can remain "tight in the bud", risking nothing. Or we can seize the day! We can risk it all to bloom! We can rise up and run toward Jesus, pursuing a holy, dynamic and intimate relationship with Him. We can determine that this is the year that our walk with God will bloom again. With His help we can live each day, bloom each day, and seize the day!

I Have a Column on Crossmap.com

I'm writing a monthly column for Crossmap.com on the subject of "Marriage Enrichment". The web address is: www.crossmap.com

To view my first column scroll down a bit and it's about a forth of the way down on the right side under the heading of "columns".

The Art of Doing Nothing

Lately I've resolved to make Sunday a true Sabbath. And you know what? It's hard! I made the decision several months ago that from now on I'm not working on Sundays. No writing (even though I love it), no promoting my book (I actually love this too), no research (don't love that!), no laundry or housework (I miss these more that the air I breathe... but I'll survive). I do cook (I mean, come on, we have to eat) and I do make our bed in the morning before church (I hate looking at an unmade bed all day!). But, that's it. Relaxing... sitting around talking with my family... watching a movie... taking a walk... reading a book... visiting on the phone with my mom and sisters. There's an art to "doing nothing" and I think I may be getting the hang of it.

I have to say, the less I do on Sundays, the more I like it.

How God Healed Me of Lyme Disease

About eight years ago I contracted Lyme Disease from a tick bite while hiking in the mountains near our home. It affected my nervous system, joints and muscle mass, as well as my vision and brain function (among others things).

My treatment involved antibiotics administered through an I.V. for 50 consecutive days, followed by oral antibiotics for another two weeks. When all was said and done, I was only a little better. I still could not walk to the end of our street. I still could not pick up my daughter. I still could not make beds, cook, vacuum, or do yard word. It was a very discouraging time.

But then, God sent his word and healed me.It happened like this:

I was sitting on my deck, Bible open, spending time with God. I had done that daily since I became sick (nothing like a good trial to cause you to seek God like never before!). I decided to read in the Psalms that day and randomly turned to Psalm 29. This psalm starts off with praise to God and then progresses along to tell what the voice of the Lord accomplishes. I especially noticed the seven descriptions in that psalm telling the mighty acts of the voice of the Lord:

The voice of the Lord is over the waters
The voice of the Lord is powerful
The voice of the Lord is majestic
The voice of the Lord breaks the cedars
The voice of the Lord strikes with flashes of lightning
The voice of the Lord shakes the desert
The voice of the Lord twists the oaks and strips the forests bareAnd in his temple all cry, "Glory!"

Reading this psalm brought faith, and I knew that the Holy Spirit was encouraging me through it. I didn't know what would happen next, but I started to feel a sense of anticipation.

A few days later our church started a five-day celebration with many special speakers planned. My husband and I decided to attend, with the plan being that I would take it easy and not wear myself out. The first day was wonderful and we had a great time. I felt better physically but didn't really know what was happening yet. The second day was just as good as the first and I felt even better physically. The third day I decided to ask one of the special speakers to pray that I would be completely healed from Lyme Disease. He bowed his head and began to pray and then suddenly stopped. I opened my eyes and he was looking at me, then he said, "Your healing is found in the voice of the Lord". Then he walked away. Well, you could have knocked me over with a feather! That man couldn't have said one statement more powerful to me then that. It was exactly what I felt God was speaking to me through Psalm 29! By the forth day I was even better and stronger. My husband and I marveled at these events and could hardly take them in. By the last day of our church's celebration I walked a half mile home from church! I had not walked even a block in many months, but that Sunday I walked home briskly without one speck of pain. Two days later I went on a much longer hike with my best friend.

God is Good!